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Digital Subscriptions > Attitude > 286 > DANNY LEE WYNTER

DANNY LEE WYNTER

I turned into my dad — in the worst way possible

“EMULATE ALL THE SHIT my mother hated, I can’t help but demonstrate my Freudian fate,” sang Amy Winehouse, fearing she was destined to replicate her adulterous father’s behaviour.

My own father had an affair while my mum was pregnant with me. It went on for years and is something I’ve never been able to let go of.

Not only was it her he was betraying, but also the idea of us, the family that was about to begin.

My dad’s behaviour informed some of my early attitudes towards men: the double life, the lack of owning up to his actions, the weekend father: there one minute, gone the next. I harboured a moral judgment, not only about him, but also others like him who side-stepped their responsibilities.

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