WE MUST present ourselves to the world as sane, sorted and highachieving people. That’s what will make us loveable, right? Er, no. What draws us closer to each other is our humanity. Why are networking events among the vilest things known to humankind? Because most people are showcasing the side of their personality that is about as threedimensional as their business card.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is risky. It increases your chances of being humiliated and rejected, but take that risk and you may find others who are doing the same. Getting things wrong is human. It’s sexy. We don’t all have a five-year plan; we get nervous when leaving voicemails; we make speeling mustakes. See, wasn’t that endearing?
Earlier this year I went on a string of mediocre dates. They were never amazing enough for either party to arrange a second one. Nor were they horrid enough for me to get a witty tweet out of. I realised that dating had become mundane because I’d been holding back and not expressing my true, unfiltered self. In the past I’ve been advised to play it cool on dates and not give too much away — in other words, to be guarded and not speak my truth. Why? Because I might frighten them off by being too open. But fuck it. If that’s the case, maybe they’re the right people to frighten off. A wise friend said to me that only by being our most authentic self can the people who really ‘get’ our authentic self, find us. But here’s the next paradox — what is our authentic self?