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Digital Subscriptions > Cottage Life > Summer 2017 > Bigger, stronger, faker

Bigger, stronger, faker

The slogans and statues of cottage country are lame, says Zim. But we can rebuild them. We have the technology

In Like Zim

My cottage neighbour has been driving to Lake Temagami from Tampa for some 55 years of summer vacations. To my way of thinking, a commute like that makes emergency dental surgery look appealing, but Joe takes it in stride. In fact, his only complaint is that all the little towns along Ontario’s Hwy. 11, with their quirky attractions, have now been bypassed. Whole communities of memory replaced with a highway sign, like a placeholder for something that has gone missing. I don’t like these signs, each proudly displaying a motto so generic and vague as to be meaningless. Huntsville’s is “Touch the Past. Embrace the Future.” In the old days, welcome signs were just that: Welcome to Tinyville. Population 74. Now we have competitions to develop slogans that ultimately sound like they were written by a bored committee. Down the big road from me, Gravenhurst and Bracebridge slug it out with “Gateway to Muskoka” and “The Heart of Muskoka.” Which is which? It doesn’t matter.

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About Cottage Life

Cottage Life’s Summer issue gets you ready to Jump in the Lake! We’ve got 21 ways for you to have fun on the water, featuring new gear, games, and expert tips for young and old, plus meet some cottagers who take their waterskiing to the next level—pyramids included! We also talked to the experts about how to choose the right dock for your cottage, and we found out what you can learn from this year’s floods (and how to protect your cabin for next time). Up your workshop game with easy, genius putterer’s hacks, and make a secret outdoor storage project. And, when the days get smokin’ hot, use our no-cook recipes to keep your cool. This issue has everything you need for a refreshing, inspired summer at the lake.