PORTRAIT: LUKE J ALBERT. PHOTOGRAPHS: ISTOCK/GETTY IMAGES
When it comes to food and language, we all have our bugbears. Some people, for example, can’t stand words like ‘yummy’ or ‘nom-nom’ or ‘mouthwatering’. They are, of course, correct and I’m sure you can think of plenty more. Irritating adjectives, however, pale in comparison to a semantic device I deem worthy of death by a thousand editorial cuts: the overapplication of possessive pronouns. For those without a linguistics degree (honestly, you’re not missing much), a possessive pronoun indicates ownership – his, hers, theirs, yours – and, most irritatingly on social media, the first person ‘my’.
Yes, my (bear with me) greatest gastrophonic grievance is to hear someone, usually on social media, say something along the lines of “you guys have to try my salted caramel brownies” or “these are my amazing crispy chickpeas”. Oh, they can bring out all the best-ever superlatives, overindulge in the emojis and inject multiple metaphors for addiction until they’ve got their fix – I can endure all that. But when a food influencer proclaims, offhandedly, that the entire dish belongs to them, I bite my thumbs, gnash my teeth and possibly stomp off to deep-fry something in protest.