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Digital Subscriptions > DIVA Magazine > January 16 > NO PROBLEM

NO PROBLEM

STRUGGLING TO KEEP GOING AFTER MY GIRLFRIEND’S DEATH

IF YOU’VE GOT ISSUES, WE CAN HELP

Dear Jane,

I’m writing to ask you how to deal with the loss of a partner. My girlfriend died in June, from cancer. It was a long-drawn-out, slow degeneration, which started about a year before, and I’m devastated. I’ve heard people say, “at least it wasn’t sudden,” as if a slow decline is any better. It was terrible for me and Kelly knowing that we were living out her last few months and then weeks, and although I did my best to be there for her until the end, it took it out of me and now I’m spent. The funeral came and went and then I really lost it; took time off work over summer and have only recently returned. I know I’m lucky that I had understanding bosses. I haven’t been to therapy or anything because I want to do this on my own. But I guess in writing to you I’m kind of asking for some kind of guidance. I don’t know if there are places I can go for support as a lesbian but I wonder sometimes if people don’t get how painful it is if you’re gay women and not married. Anyway, I hope you can help. There must be other women like me out there who’ve gone through something similar and maybe this letter will help them.

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About DIVA Magazine

In the new issue Ellen Page talks to us – and you – about coming out and playing gay in her new movie Freeheld, alongside the great talent that is Julianne Moore. We've also spoken to Carrie-Ann Moss (AKA Trinity from The Matrix) about her role as a lesbian lawyer in the new Netflix series Jessica Jones. Our First Ladies feature looks at the world's most influential LGBT political figures in the corridor of power. Charlotte Cooper talks Fat Power and why fat activism is important to anyone who cares about social change. Sarah Outen shares her rowing home to marry story. Also in this issue: Alicya Eyo Bi-commodification Cherry Jones Sober Start Margaret Cho Find Your Balance Big Joanie Stay protected online Plus all the very best in life, scene, books, film, music and TV.
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