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Digital Subscriptions > DIVA Magazine > November 2016 > BE HERE NOW

BE HERE NOW

WITH STRESS AND ANXIETY DRIVING SO MANY LB WOMEN INTO THE CLOSET AT WORK, WHAT CAN WE DO TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES?

“I’m not gay – I need to make that perfectly clear.” I heard the words stumble out of my mouth and looked at the embarrassed, slightly amazed faces of the executives around the boardroom table at a sleek American investment bank in Canary Wharf.

I felt totally overwhelmed – the critical voice in the back of my head told me I was a fraud, I was going to fail – my throat was dry, my hands were sweating and I wanted to bolt for the door.

At its most extreme, anxiety can totally disable us. The panic of just showing up and being authentic means some of us construct yet another closet in which to hide – the confines of our own minds.

Who was I kidding? I knew I was gay, I just couldn’t tell anyone and yet I had been asked to panel at an LGBT event to discuss, of all things, difficult conversations in the workplace! The irony was deep – the fear of being outed terrified me but I continued with my conversation. “I am more than happy to get involved in the discussion but I’ll be the straight voice.” As I left the boardroom I felt the cloak of agitation and stress heavy on my back.

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About DIVA Magazine

Double Olympic gold medallist Nicola Adams is this month’s cover star! Read our exclusive interview and get a boxing lesson from the “Baby-faced Assassin” in a fab video, available only to digital readers. Also in this issue… Jemma Redgrave on #Berena Hockey champs Kate and Helen Richardson-Walsh talk exclusively to DIVA’s Roxy Bourdillon about winning gold in Rio. Hoops and dreams: Carrie Lyell looks back at 20 years of the WNBA. Master Of None star Lena Waithe tells DIVA about being a queer black woman in Hollywood Trans punk rocker Laura Jane Grace on love, sex and heartbreak Desert Hearts: 30 years on Sinitta: Why I’m an LGBT ally DIVA Awards PLUS: Travel, family and much, much more!
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