I’m concerned that my cat may be a little“bunged up”. Poor thing hasn’t had “a movement” in two days. She hasn’t “been”, as my dear old nan would have said. Well, she would have mouthed it to her neighbour over the cat’s head, accompanied with an exaggerated, meaningful nod. Oh, hang the euphemisms: my cat is constipated. I know this because I’ve been on Poop Watch for the last two days like some crazed Chris Packham character. The thing is, she is 15 in December, officially a geriatric, and though she still has a spring in her step, increasingly I feel I want to wrap her in cotton wool.
I’m overvigilant for signs that her health may be declining. My recent search history betrays me: normal cat poo, is cat constipation dangerous, cat neediness, weird meow, that sort of thing. She, on the other hand, appears fine. She walks breezily into the room, plonks down in front of me and begins cleaning, while I scroll through the latest cat medical publications and the foremost peer reviewed research and nutritional advice.