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Digital Subscriptions > Psychologies > August 2019 > H is ex-wife and daughter treat m e with contem pt

H is ex-wife and daughter treat m e with contem pt

Our agony aunt, M ary Fenw ick,o ers a new perspective on whatever is troubling you

QFive years ago, Im arried a lovely m an but I have struggled to understand the hurtful behaviour tow ards me from his ex-wife and grow n-up daughter. His ex m arried quickly after their divorce, m any years before he and Im et. We were careful to introduce our relationship gradually, and m y husband’s tw o sons seem com fortable with me, but his daughter has often been unpleasant. His ex-wife seem s to resent me, though I have only met her briefly.

I suggested we m eet and get to know each other but she responded rudely and, as a result, I felt I had to refuse an invitation to a fam ily event from m y stepson. I’d like to understand the reasons behind this. Is it possible to im prove the situation?Nam e supplied

A You m ay be right, it’s possible that there is an ex-w ife and a stepdaughter here with negative feelings tow ards ‘the new wife’. But, in another letter this m onth, I’ve talked about the fact that other people are generally not thinking about us as m uch as we im agine. That could be hurtful, if you take it as thoughtlessness; it could also be a com fort, if it takes the pressure o .

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