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The key to unlocking real love

Is there a recipe for finding love? There are certainly foundations we can put in place to have the best chance of experiencing a truly fulfilling relationship, as dating coach Katherine Baldwin explains…

Dossier

1 Look within

Overworking, emotional eating or drinking, obsessive exercising, or creating a never-ending busy schedule; keeping our minds and bodies busy is a great way to distract ourselves from our own feelings. But Katherine Baldwin explains that this keeps us from connecting with what’s going on inside. ‘If we can’t relate to ourselves on a deeper level, we’ll struggle to connect with others, and the same barrier that keeps the unpleasant feelings at bay will also block us from good feelings; from intimacy and from love.’ Baldwin encourages us to begin to surrender control and cultivate self-awareness through mindfulness meditation and journalling. She also says that we should restore faith in ourselves by doing things we love, whether that’s taking a long bath, joining a hiking group or going on a holiday by yourself. ‘Having healthy self-esteem is vital to our ability to form and maintain intimate, loving relationships,’ she says. Pause and reflect: Do you think you might be ready to become more aware of your hurt, and process it in healthier ways? How could you experiment here? And what estimable acts can you add into your day to improve your self-care?

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About Psychologies

It’s all about love this month. In our 18-page Dossier we look at the reality of making your relationships work once the rush of lust wears off. We encourage you to choose to love each other, imperfections and all. For those who are struggling, we’re giving away our 30-day ‘How to save your relationship’ online course with relationship expert Sarah Abell– worth £47. We are also looking at how to navigate bringing up teenage children with our coaching columnist Kim Morgan, plus discover a new way to deal with grief - over dinner! Gratitude is the theme of our special gift guide for Christmas and beyond. We’ve partnered with Etsy, our favourite online portal for unique gifts made with love. Who and what are you grateful for this month?