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Digital Subscriptions > Attitude > 265 > Je Suis Fatty Gay

Je Suis Fatty Gay

FATTY GAY HAS SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME AND SO BEGINS A NEW WAY TO MEDICATE HIS FEELINGS

CONFESSIONS OF A COMPULSIVE OVEREATER

The day after my first sexual experience, I woke up, hungover. I was 18, on the scene, and had done the thing I was most scared of: actually had sex – well, at least given a blow job. While my best friend Tommy had settled into a relationship complete with hearts and flowers, and the other guys from our gay youth group fooled around with each other, I remained single. I was short and fat – 18 stone to be exact. I wouldn’t have wanted to have sex with me. But now, finally, someone had. Okay, so it happened in a dark corner of a club with someone old enough to be my grandfather whom, if I’d been sober I wouldn’t have gone near, but for those few minutes before he came and went, he wanted me. He made me feel normal. He hadn’t rejected me like everyone else had. It was something to be proud of. An achievement. Why then, did I feel so awful?

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About Attitude

In a world exclusive first magazine cover shoot, Years and Years singer Olly Alexander tells us about his amazing rise to the top of the charts, his struggles with depression – and dealing with heartache as he splits up from his boyfriend, clean bandit’s Neil Amin-Smith. Inside, our review of the year looks at the most records, films and TV programmes that have shaped your year. We interview the gay owners of the controversial Cereal Killer Café, meet four amazing trans men set to redefine trans awareness and meet a man who is fighting back against the gentrification of the gay scene. Plus fashion, film, fitness and everything you’d expect from a regular issue of Attitude.
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