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Digital Subscriptions > Attitude > 287 > THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS

THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS

BEING THE FIRST OUT GAY COUNTRY MUSICIAN IN AMERICA IS A TITLE THAT COMES WITH ITS FAIR SHARE OF BURDENS. AND FOR STEVE GRAND, THE ALL-AMERICAN BOY HE WAS SINGING ABOUT WAS HIDING A DARK SECRET…
Steve wears jeans by Balmain at Harvey Nichols, braces throughout, Steve’s own

Steve Grand has an apology to make. It follows years of alcohol abuse, blackouts and drunken behaviour about which he’s more than a little embarrassed. “I’m so sorry to all the people who worked with me over that time, because there were times when I was a nightmare and I’m sure there are things I did and said that I’d be mortified if I heard about now,” he says.

“So, I genuinely want to apologise to anyone who dealt with me when I was in that unpleasant state; I’m very sorry.” He’s speaking to Attitude after his cover-shoot during a recent trip to the UK. It’s been more than 18 months since he’s had a drink.

His road to sobriety began after the end of a seven-year relationship that started when Steve was 18. Although he doesn’t want to identify his ex, Steve reflects on it as being a period of incredible highs and devastating lows, that was made all the more complex by the unexpectedly intense attention that came off the back of his coming out music video All-American Boy in 2013.

With more than 6.3m views on YouTube, the video won him praise as an openly gay country music star. But although outwardly he relished the spotlight, Steve was actually binge-drinking with a self-destructive bent while working through a less-than-perfect romantic relationship. “It was tumultuous so it ended a couple of times,” he says. “There were some very rough years, even through my video coming out.”

Of all his past romances, Steve identifies this as being the one relationship that had more of an effect on him than anything else. “He was all sorts of things to me,” Steve reveals. “It was a dysfunctional relationship and in some ways it was very wonderful and beneficial and healing even, but in other ways it was destructive, very dark and toxic.”

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About Attitude

On the cover: All American Boy Steve Grand in his hottest shoot ever. Plus: the stars from God’s Own Country on why it’s more than just the British Brokeback Mountain, former soldier James Wharton’s chemsex battle, Corrie’s gay DILF Daniel Brocklebank, and what’s gay life like in Beirut?
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