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Digital Subscriptions > Attitude > 290 > The challenge of changing

The challenge of changing

As a trans man, Chay Brown’s relationship with his masculinity is complex, and given that he’s gay and a teacher, finding acceptance hasn’t always been easy…
PHOTOGRAPHY: MARKUS BIDAUX

In many ways, I’m pretty typical for a gay man in his thirties. As a teenager, I secretly recorded Queer as Folk and watched it when my parents weren’t in. Now, as an adult, I socialise with friends and enjoy going to the theatre, have a love-hate relationship with dating apps and spend more time working than relaxing. The usual stuff, really

One thing that makes life different for me, however, is that I’m transgender. I felt like a boy when I was really young, but quickly learnt to suppress, and then repress, my feelings of maleness. Everybody was calling me a girl and saying that I was just a tomboy; my gender wasn’t up for discussion. The feeling of maleness that I irst noticed as a small child is dificult to describe. It’s not based on stereotypes of what men and women should be, it’s something far deeper.

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About Attitude

This month, the Masculinity issue! On the cover, Jake Shears is back! Plus, Shamir on androgyny, comedian Stephen Bailey, gay footie referee Ryan Atkin, bottom shaming, and LOADS MORE on what masc means to gay men.
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