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Digital Subscriptions > Attitude > Issue 276 > Finding Love Again

Finding Love Again

After 18 years together, Stephen Byrne lost the man he loved to cancer. Starting over was a long, hard road, but he wasn’t going to let grief win

I suppose by the age of 40+ people have quite a potted history in their past relationships and love affairs. I am 42 and I am now dating a man of 25. We’ve been together nearly seven months and it’s going well. I find that guys in their twenties don’t carry around personal life stories of their past because they are still young and maybe haven’t experienced that much on the love-and-loss side of things.

Of course, in my twenties I had my break-ups but the relationships hadn’t been overly profound or long-lasting and so were easy to get over. I find that younger guys also have a natural optimism concerning love: they expect to meet the one, settle down and enjoy life with a partner.

I had the same optimism in my twenties and love happened to me when I was 24 after what I thought was a random one-night-stand with a 40-something guy called Michael.

Looking back, I must have been hard work. I now know what stamina he must have had trying to keep up with the social life of someone 20 years younger because now the shoe is on the other foot.

I am a gay widower making a new life for myself after losing my husband.

Michael and I met in 1998 and aside from a six-month break relatively early on, we were together for the next 18 years. I had what you might call a charmed and happy life. We quickly moved in together and I discovered all the pluses of dating an older guy.

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About Attitude

This issue, our Attitude Awards winners take the spotlight. TV star and Man of the Year Wentworth Miller, trans model icon Andreja Pejic, comedian Alan Carr, breakthrough pop star MNEK, most stylish man winner Pietro Boselli, and gay rights activist Omar Sharif Jr. all feature on six collector’s edition covers. Plus, there are interviews with Attitude Award winners Spice Girl and honorary gay Geri, LGBT ally Beverley Knight, Active Award winners Team GB, actress Amanda Barrie and acclaimed Harry Potter and the Cursed Child director John Tiffany.
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