Here are some strategies to make dating with autism easier.

By Jeremy and Ilana Hamburgh

While talking with Yisroel Bernath, better known as “The Love Rabbi,” about neurodivergent singles, he insisted, “We have to talk about online dating because everyone is doing it.” After thinking for a moment, he added, “If there were a rulebook for online dating, people on the spectrum would be great at it.”

That quip accurately sums up why countless autistic adults struggle with dating and finding a romantic partner. There are rules of thumb and best practices that one can follow, but there is no rulebook that guarantees success.

That makes the dating world very tough to navigate.

Online dating was supposed to be the answer

As online dating became more mainstream, there was a growing sense in the autism community that it held unlimited promise.

Love on the spectrum felt much more attainable before it became the name of a television show. There were lots of reasons to be bullish about online dating.

It provided autistic people with the opportunity to communicate in writing. It was a chance to connect with someone where they had time to think about what they wanted to say, and they didn’t feel the same amount of pressure as in a face-to-face chat with a total stranger.