There has been much debate in recent years as to when a trans person should disclose their trans status in the bedroom. It’s a tricky subject, but one for the trans community alone to figure out. We have to factor in a number of different elements when deciding when and if we disclose this information.
Our own safety is a real big concern. Violence against trans people is still a real worry for our community and as such each of us must be cognisant of any danger when deciding when to disclose this information. In a world where ‘trans panic’ is still an allowable defence in the US for murder, we would be naïve to not consider our own safety and the dangers which obviously still exist.
But, and this will come as a shock, cis people’s tastes are not an important factor. If you truly believe that sleeping with a trans person is somehow ‘different’ and that we are ‘deceiving’ you, then please for the love of Beyoncé tell us. Unsurprisingly, that’s a deal-breaker for us too. We do not want to sleep with transphobes.