Body Shame

No pecs, no sex – the culture of dating apps and a pervasive porn culture have separated us from our bodies by displaying them in a marketplace, and it’s not bringing us happiness. We need to rethink how we see ourselves and others.

In our contemporary culture, we are more likely to identify with our images, our photos, our Facebook profiles, than with our bodies. The French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan argues that as infants we first recognise ourselves in our mirror reflection and “assume this image”. Our first experience of ourselves as a whole individual is outside of ourselves. This alienating paradox haunts our core self throughout our lives; trapping us in external identifications rather than enjoying living within our bodies.

So much body dysmorphia, perceived unattractiveness, physical disappointment comes from this. Are we thin enough? Built enough? Young enough? Beautiful? Desirable? All the answers to these questions never rest with or in ourselves, but through others’ perceptions. It is a terrible amount of power and authority to hand your body over so heedlessly and unequivocally to other people.