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Digital Subscriptions > iScot Magazine > June 2017 > Mr Scotland

Mr Scotland

My Grandad always said that the Phoney War was worse than the real thing. And he should have known, if anyone did. After it all kicked off, he was whisked from the beach at Dunkirk at the last minute and went on to serve in North Africa, Italy and France before his arm stopped a bullet in the Ardennes.

‘Aye,’ he’d say as he showed us the bullet-wound scar, ‘that was nothing. Sitting on the Maginot Line, that was the worst. No knowing when the Nazis were gonnae come storming through. And that fear at the back o yer mind that the top brass might send George Formby tae entertain us.’

The toothsome banjolele-meister was one of Grandad’s besetting demons, along with Hitler, Thatcher and referees who caved in to the Old Firm. ‘Bloody lang streak o pish he wis. No a funny bone in his body. He was jist the officer class’s idea o what the other ranks liked. They should have sent Margaret Lockwood or Vivien Leigh. We’d’ve been happy to see them.’

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About iScot Magazine

iScot June 2017 issue - the one with The Proclaimers 'Turn that frown upside down' front cover 116 jam packed pages of the best craic in Scotland from the only truly independent pro Scottish magazine. Alyn Smith MEP - "You're Welcome Here" Robbie Dinwoodie - Saying 'AYE" with LFI Dave Bowman - The Angus Roberston Interview Derek Bateman - More Democracy? Dave Bowman - Gala's Pride Tom Morton - Cadenhead celebrates & Scotland's best Whisky Column Wee Ginger Dug - Nae North Britain Blaze's Trail - Dog for Sale! David J Black - A bedtime story Grousebeater - Promoting The Proclaimers Jason Michael McCann - Subversion of Democracy? John MacKenzie - The Arran Clearances ( yes, 40 miles from Glasgow!) Zoe Weir - Within its walls - Linlithgow Palace Iain McLaren - Photo Essay Mary Edward - The Jews of Glasgow Indy Lawyer - Your very good health Vivien Martin - Spaceman & Spies iScot Short Story - David McVey - Mr Scotland Major Bloodnok and Mystic Mons Meg Heidbyler Soduko ( No, not Sudoko!) Readers Letters
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