A year of slowing down has allowed me to start noticing my feelings, registering when I find people attractive and connecting with my body. On a recent meditation course, I learned how to do a mindful body scan and now I start my day lying in bed and checking in from my toes to the top of my head, observing how my body is feeling. Ignored and dismissed for years, it has quite a lot to say! So, when a handsome man asked me on a date, my body shouted ‘yes!’ rather loudly. But it wasn’t any old date; it was a seven-hour date.
ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK
Nana Wereko-Brobby, a matchmaker and expert in slow dating, suggests online apps have created a culture of fast dating, where we simply swipe ‘next’ if a person is not to our liking and we don’t give people a chance. ‘Don’t give your potential dates only a short window of time,’ she says. ‘Plan a seven-hour date.’ Seven hours? I usually meet men for a 45-minute coffee! I’ve dated a lot since my marriage ended but, as anyone who’s been through a divorce knows, it can take a while to recover from hurt, grief and betrayal. So yes, maybe I’ve put up too many barriers to love to keep myself safe, and speedy coffee dates allowed me to pretend to date without making myself vulnerable or taking risks. The thought of a seven-hour date terrified me, but I decided to be brave.