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Digital Subscriptions > Psychologies > No. 137 Reinvent Your Life in 2017 > “Why can’t I set myself free?”

“Why can’t I set myself free?”

Award-winning coach, Kim Morgan, helps a woman who wants to discover how to stop her self-sabotaging behaviour

the life lab


1 Unconscious self-sabotage

‘I am my own worst enemy!’ Jess* told me. ‘I know what I want – a loving relationship, marriage and kids – but it just isn’t happening. I’m 33 and starting to panic that it’s never going to happen. I need to sort myself out, otherwise I won’t have the life I want. I seem to jeopardise my chances of success each time I meet someone. I’m more likely to destroy relationships that look promising. Why do I do it?’

When I asked Jess to tell me exactly how she was being her own worst enemy, she gave me a long list of examples. She was a lively, fun-loving woman, who was self-aware, and she laughed as she told me about her latest disaster. ‘I was on a blind date recently and escaped to the loo to text my friend about how the date was going. I texted that I really liked him, despite the fact that he did have a very big nose. When I went back to the bar, my date had disappeared and, when I checked my phone, I realised I had accidentally sent the text to him! My friends all look forward to hearing my disaster stories, but it’s getting beyond a joke now.’

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Psychologies February 2017 - Reinvent Your Life in 2017
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