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Digital Subscriptions > Psychologies > No. 155 > Say you’re sorry

Say you’re sorry

Making a meaningful apology isn’t easy. Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschappeler, authors of The Communication Book, break down the research and tell us how

HOW TO…

emotional intelligence

WORDS: SUZY WALKER. PHOTOGRAPH: GETTY IMAGES

1 Use ‘I’ sentences and take responsibility. An apology is about taking complete ownership of a wrongdoing. Avoid sentences like ‘I’m sorry your feelings are hurt’ or ‘I’m sorry you’re angry’, because they imply that it doesn’t have anything to do with you. Say it like it is: ‘I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.’ A person is more likely to forgive and forget if you admit total responsibility.

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