Something really had to give, and this happened through me giving in to my lifelong need to be a ‘proper’ tranny and experience being with others similar to myself. Everything started with me doing something I never thought I’d do, but was always desperate to, I booked a makeover session with Cindy from Boys Will Be Girls. I have to say that this was that big life-changing moment that I had waited for for over 40 years for.
I became very confused in the eighties, after Boy George’s first appeared on television. I couldn’t understand why I found this person so attractive and wanted to watch him over and over again. This confusion carried on for several years. Then, in the nineties, there was even more exposure to stunning transvestites and transsexuals on Eurotrash, The Ricki Lake show, Jerry Springer and Maury Povich. Every day I would set my video to record, praying that the topic of the day would be a trans theme. I would build up collections of amazing footage, only then to delete it all, through fear of getting caught. I think the biggest confusing thing going on in my head, was that if I was not gay, why did I feel so incredibly attracted to these people?