ILLUSTRATION FERNANDO SAFONT
Some years ago, in the dead of night, I found myself lying in bed next to my then partner wondering what it was that had drawn me to her. I felt a connection to her – of that there was no doubt – but there were other things about us that caused friction; too much friction, it turned out, for our relationship to survive. What was it that had brought us together? What was it that after two years together had forced us apart?
There is no definitive, simple answer to these questions; let’s just say that when I trawled back through the thoughts and feelings I had about myself when we met and those that emerged during our relationship, I realised the strongest pull towards her came from a dark place in me and that when we connected in that darkness, neither of us wanted to switch the light on.