Bank Machine, which runs 2,500 ATMs across the country, has set up five cash dispensers which offer customers the option to request cash in English or Cockney*.
And if you ask for Cockney, the machine will tell you it is “Reading your bladder of lard” (card) before asking for your “Huckleberry Finn” (PIN). Then the hard decisions start. Do you want to see your balance on the “Charlie Sheen” (screen)? Or would you like to withdraw some “sausage and mash” (cash)?