Happiness Book Club
Despite being competent in several areas of our lives, many of us don’t feel good enough. Even when we have success, we can question it or attribute it to someone or something else. Why do we do that? To some extent, self-doubt is normal, helpful even, if we are struggling with a difficult challenge, and it can motivate us to learn or seek help. But, if we are unsure of our abilities and the daily outcomes that stem from those abilities, it can lead to procrastination and hold us back from doing things that help fulfil our dreams. We are also more likely to experience anxiety and depression. Chronic self-doubters spend less time positively focused on the task in hand and more energy avoiding being seen to fail. This fear of failure can cause us to consciously or subconsciously self-sabotage so that, when we fail, we have a reason for it, rather than putting our self-worth on the line. However, researchers have found that the actual experience of failure is rarely as bad as we anticipate. We also underestimate how much we’ll regret not doing something.
So, how do we overcome chronic self-doubt? This book includes many science-backed strategies to try. At its heart is understanding that self-doubt is our belief about our abilities or lack thereof, rather than our abilities themselves. We need to find ways to challenge these beliefs. It’s the act of trying which enables us to build a greater sense of competence. Jewell suggests setting learning goals rather than performance ones, remembering that mastering something new takes small steps and several ‘failures’ along the way. This is one way to gradually build our confidence and courage, and make achieving our big goals less scary.