This website use cookies and similar technologies to improve the site and to provide customised content and advertising. By using this site, you agree to this use. To learn more, including how to change your cookie settings, please view our Cookie Policy
Xmas Legs Small Present Present
Pocketmags Digital Magazines
Pocketmags Digital Magazines
   You are currently viewing the United Kingdom version of the site.
Would you like to switch to your local site?
Digital Subscriptions > DIVA Magazine > April 2018 > How to lose a girlfriend in one day

How to lose a girlfriend in one day


It’s a typical Saturday morning. My girlfriend is cosy in a hoodie and joggers, studying a hefty hardback written by an SAS soldier: How To Stay Safe In A Dangerous World. I’m in a silk kimono and some frivolous but fabulous fluffy slippers, flicking through The History Of The Little Black Dress. I’m sipping the latte she lovingly made me and snuggling right up into her nook. Bliss.

Some people might find our butch/ femme dynamic old-fashioned; I find it hot as hell. My butcher half enjoys being, as she calls it, “protector, provider”. “I do the cooking, I do the driving. I’m the head of security. I make sure you haven’t got odd shoes on.” Steady on, love. As if I’d take fashion advice from you and anyway, you’re my girlfriend, not my carer! “Same difference.” I ask what she thinks I bring to the relationship and there’s a pause. An offensively long pause. “You’re very sweet”, she eventually offers. “And you’re easy on the eye.” I’d slap her, but I’ve just had my nails done.

Purchase options below
Find the complete article and many more in this issue of DIVA Magazine - April 2018
If you own the issue, Login to read the full article now.
Single Issue - April 2018
Or 399 points
Annual Digital Subscription
Only £ 2.08 per issue
Or 2499 points
6 Month Digital Subscription
Only £ 2.33 per issue
Or 1399 points
Monthly Digital Subscription
Only £ 2.99 per issue
Or 299 points

View Issues

About DIVA Magazine

Doesn’t Victoria Broom look gorgeous on our cover? What a stunner! Read all about her role in ITV’s critically acclaimed drama Marcella, and find out what Fran’s up to in the next series of Different For Girls. Digital readers can also enjoy some exclusive behind-the-scenes snaps from our cover shoot at The Union Club in Soho. Also in this issue… Paloma Faith chats to DIVA columnist and Voice UK star Jordan Gray about her decision to raise her children gender neutral DIVA takes a peek inside Amber’s Closet Adele Roberts: “I’ve always been out on air" Belinda Blinked: Alice Levine from the smash hit podcast My Dad Wrote A Porno on an accidental feminist icon A life of Pride: Remembering Moomins creator Tove Jansson Freaky Frigay: How to lose a girlfriend in 24 hours Is your bae up to scratch? Take the DIVA compatibility quiz to find out! Queer children’s books: Meet the authors creating a more inclusive world for families PLUS: Travel, horoscopes and much much more!