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Digital Subscriptions > DIVA Magazine > January 2018 > Everyone is hurting and no one is listening

Everyone is hurting and no one is listening


In the beginning there is shame. I am 15 and in denial. If I don’t desire men then how will I grow up to be real? How will I make sense of my place in the world? The word “lesbian” seems like it’s shutting me in and away from everything I’ve ever known. Fast forward nearly 10 years and “lesbian” is the word that makes my world so much vaster and sweeter and more sure. “Lesbian” is my home. It’s the place I’ve found refuge in; it no longer fills me with shame. Or it didn’t until recently. To be a lesbian in the current queer community is, it seems to me, to be marked with shame, to be thought of as shameful. This is not the homophobia of the straight world, but a different form of suspicion and distrust with a bitter history.

Here, in short, is what I see to be the problem. Lesbians are regarded by other queer women and nonbinary people as dangerous and/or unprogressive and/or exclusionary. We are the dinosaurs of the queer world. Stuck in a rut. I will not pretend that this is a wholly unfounded witchhunt – that we lesbians are perfect, non-oppressive and untainted by society’s ills. But I do think that some serious inter-community discussion is needed about the things that lesbian, bisexual, queer and trans women and non-binary people believe about each other. Because everyone is hurting and no one is listening.

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About DIVA Magazine

We’ve scored big this month, netting a photo shoot with WNBA legend Sue Bird. In an exclusive cover interview with DIVA editor Carrie Lyell, Bird opens up about her 15 seasons in the league, her relationship with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, and tells us why it’s taken her until now to talk publicly about her sexuality. Also in this issue… DIVA Power List 2017: Who are your movers and shakers of the past 12 month? “I could fall in love with anybody” - singer songwriter Rae Morris chats to DIVA’s Roxy Bourdillon about sexual fluidity Model Queers: We meet the badass women challenging beauty ideals Lucie Barât: “We’re all rock and roll” She shoots, she scores: We catch up with gifted striker Lianne Sanderson The family who play together: Some of our favourite sportswomen thank their loved ones Do you speak #Lesmoji? Try our film quiz. PLUS: Travel, family, reviews and more!