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Digital Subscriptions > DIVA Magazine > May 2019 > ’Why can’t you just get over it?”

’Why can’t you just get over it?”


How many of us have heard the line, “Why can’t you just get over it?” Or “Haven’t you moved on yet?” when struggling to get over a dificult break-up? Even after the most amicable of splits from an intimate relationship, it can be painful, or feel dificult to face our ex when we inevitably bump into them. For survivors of abusive relationships, this becomes exponentially dificult.

In a 2017 report titled LGBT+ People’s Experiences of Domestic Abuse, Galop, the LGBT+ anti-violence charity, highlights the startling prevalence of domestic abuse in LGBTQI relationships, including those between women (cis and trans) who sleep with women. One in four LB women have experienced domestic abuse and 39% of calls received by the National LGBT+ Domestic Violence Helpline, run by Galop, are from women. For transfindividuals or people who experience additional vulnerabilities, such as having a faith, ethnicity or disability, the risk is substantially higher.

Part of the problem, a domestic abuse caseworker at the charity says, is that there is often a misconception that women can’t be perpetrators of abuse. Reasons for this include a lack of understanding about what the term domestic abuse means, a pervasive gendered reading of violence, or a lack of belief by the victim that they have experienced domestic abuse.

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About DIVA Magazine

Suranne Jones is serving 1800s dapper realness on the cover this month, and we can’t get enough! DIVA editor Carrie Lyell was lucky enough to meet the star of epic new BBC drama Gentleman Jack on set at Shibden Hall, and in this issue tells us what it was like to play famous diarist Anne Lister in Sally Wainwright’s new series, hitting our screens very soon. Want to know more about the world’s “first modern lesbian”? Make sure you pick up a copy! Also in this issue… Derry-born singer-songwriter SOAK takes us on a trip through Grim Town Heather Peace: Why the next tour might be her last Sofie Hagen: “I can have lesbian sex when I’m thin” American Gods star Devery Jacobs on queer Indigenous representation in Hollywood Féminin/Féminin: The lesbian web series we love Women on top (of each other): The ins, outs and in agains of sapphic desire Top of the pops: Celebrating Lesbian Day of Visibility with the DIVA Power List 2019 Plus travel, film and much much more!