THE RANKING
Four Empire writers. Ten songs. Ordered definitively.
Bond movie songs
Illustration: Jacey
Chris: We’ve never ranked the Bond theme songs.
Alex: It’s an event almost as big as the films are, it seems. As a format, they own it. Nobody does it better. I’m sorry.
Chris: They’ve carved out this niche for themselves so successfully that nobody is even going to try to copy it. Marvel haven’t done it.
Helen: Deadpool did that Celine Dion parody.
Amon: Can you believe she hasn’t done a Bond theme?
Chris: There are a lot of people who haven’t. Whitney Houston never did a Bond.
Helen: Aretha.
Alex: That’s because Shirley Bassey did bloody all of them.
Helen: You can’t argue with that. I was listening to these again this morning and her diction should be in a museum.
Chris: She’s done three.
Helen: Two of them were good. The other one was Moonraker.
Chris: Come on, that’s harsh. But entirely accurate.
Helen: One of my qualifications for a great Bond theme is that there should be some real darkness in it. It shouldn’t strictly be a love song.