One parent provides insight into building a relationship with a child with pathological demand avoidance.

By Andrea Grant, BA, PGDip, PGCert

I have never been good at math. The moment I see numbers clustered together, I start itching like someone who has just undergone a few rounds with a mosquito. Seriously, who decided to mix the alphabet with numbers? Why does X need to equal Y?

But amidst my aversion to numerical nonsense, I stumbled upon an equation that makes perfect sense, even to a “mathphobe” like me.

Autism + Environment = Outcome

This gem from Dr. Luke Beardon has become my mantra in my relentless quest to be a better teacher and parent to my children

with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA).

The magic of the right equation

Dr. Beardon’s equation underscores a crucial truth for parents on the spectrum: Behavior is always a symptom of something else. It’s a gentle reminder that our kids aren’t giving us a hard time—they’re having a hard time.