How can parents help their children understand the subtleties of socialization?

By Brett J. Novick, MS, EdD, LMFT

Social rules, or those often unwritten and unspoken “laws” of socialization, are subtle and vary based on family, culture, and society. These unwritten “rules” of socialization are often referred to as “the hidden curriculum.”

For individuals with ASD, these topics can be difficult because they are learned indirectly through experience. They often incorporate nuances such as nonverbal cues and intricate social interactions.

ASD vs. neurotypical learners

Why is it so difficult for those with ASD to understand social rules? ASD individuals learn about the world through direct instruction. Neurotypical individuals learn by observing a situation and applying the information to similar scenarios.

Social relationships involve a lot of “gray” areas, and individuals with ASD tend to take conversation quite literally. Sarcasm and figures of speech used in dialogue can create confusion in conversation.

Understanding how to build and maintain relationships while handling the conflicts that accompany trying to relate to others is essential. One must be able to understand the people and groups around them and how society functions.

How unspoken social rules affect daily life

Each day, we encounter subtle social rules that are a natural part of our actions. Yet, these same scenarios can be confusing for those with ASD who look at the world from a completely different perspective. Let’s look at some examples of these scenarios.