Help! Knowing When and How to Ask

Asking for help can be difficult, but it is a form of self-advocacy.

By Alicia Trautwein

For many autistic adults, myself included, asking for help can feel like one of the hardest things to do. It might come from a fear of being judged, the frustration of not knowing exactly what we need, or the emotional overwhelm that builds up just thinking about asking.

Often, these feelings can keep us from seeking support at all.

Asking for help is a skill to be built over time with practice, patience, and self-compassion.

Understanding the need for help

As children, we learn that independence is a future goal, but everyone relies on some support.

Asking for help isn’t admitting failure; it’s acknowledging we’re human. For autistic adults, it can be an incredible form of self-advocacy.

There are many everyday situations where asking for help can make things better. For example, at work, when your boss gives vague instructions and you’re not sure what they want.

At home, when your brain freezes and you can’t figure out how to start the laundry or make dinner, even though you know it needs to get done.