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16 MIN READ TIME

THE GONG SHOW

With the continued dominance of pop acts purposely engineered for Spotify algorithms and earnest male singer-songwriters more likely to thank their accountant on stage than cause a ruckus, this year’s 40th BRIT Awards on 18 February looks set to be another beige-fest devoid of anything worth discussing at the watercooler the next day.

Sure, the ceremony’s recent history has provided the odd bit of drama, whether it’s Adele giving the middle finger when her British Album Of The Year acceptance speech was cut short for News At Ten or Madonna proving that sometimes it really is only superheroes who should wear capes.

But such talking points were more by accident than design. The modern-day BRITs doesn’t appear to be interested in inviting chaos - you can’t exactly imagine Bastille pouring a bucket of ice-cold water over Dominic Raab, for example. Now it’s a super-polished and decidedly middle-class affair far more concerned with trending on social media than gracing the front pages of the tabloids.

In many respects, organisers have simply gone back to basics. Indeed, staged to coincide with both the Queen’s Silver Jubilee and the centenary of Thomas Edison inventing the phonograph, the inaugural 1977 BRIT Awards offered little to get ITV viewers jamming the switchboards. A stately affair held at the Wembley Conference Centre the 1977 ceremony was hosted by the height of respectability that is Michael Aspel.

And in a year which witnessed releases from Sex Pistols, Bowie, Fleetwood Mac and The Clash just to name a handful, the voting panel was more interested in celebrating the rock establishment (The Beatles, The Stones, The Who) or inoffensive pop acts who had long since fallen out of fashion (Petula Clark et al).

It was a similar story when, after a five-year break, the BRIT Awards returned to the music industry calendar with veteran broadcaster David Jacobs in tow. Showing a startling lack of imagination, Queen’s Greatest Hits was shortlisted for Best British Album, while the ever-reliable Cliff Richard triumphed over Elvis Costello to pick up his second consecutive Best British Male.

“THE MODERN-DAY BRITS DOESN’T APPEAR TO BE INTERESTED IN INVITING CHAOS - YOU CAN’T EXACTLY IMAGINE BASTILLE POURING A BUCKET OF ICE-COLD WATER OVER DOMINIC RAAB, FOR EXAMPLE.”

Kim Wilde (Best British Female Solo Artist), Pete Townshend (Life Achievement Award) and Paul McCartney (the Sony Trophy for Technical Excellence, Best British Male Solo Artist and Outstanding Contribution To Music) with a non-winning Michael Jackson, 8 February 1983.
The 5’3” Prince with his 6’8” bodyguard, the late Charles ‘Big Chick’ Huntsberry at the 1985 BRITs

Not that anyone but the attendees are likely to remember: the whole shebang was entirely ignored by TV networks. Likewise the 1983 ceremony in which Barbra Streisand triumphed over the equally American Kids From Fame in the Best Selling Album category and the 1984 event where Annie Lennox, still very much a part of Eurythmics, was crowned Best British Female.

ENTER AUNTIE BEEB

However, things changed dramatically in 1985 when the BBC decided to get in on the action. In the ceremony, Prince was flanked by his gargantuan bodyguard Charles ‘Big Chick’ Huntsberry as he collected awards for Best International Solo Artist and Best Soundtrack/Cast Recording for Purple Rain. And who knows what he made about being the subject of a phone sex joke delivered by Holly Johnson of Frankie Goes to Hollywood, the night’s only other two-time winner. George Michael, Sting and Tina Turner were just a few of the other megastars in attendance that evening. Although the choice of Noel Edmonds as host, not to mention a new Best Comedy Recording category which included Roland Rat, proved that despite all the glitz and glamour, the BRITs still had one foot in unfashionable light entertainment.

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