Stone butch. Service top. Pillow princess. I used to think these words were relics of our queer lady past. I assumed that these days very few women-loving women ascribed to such rigid roles, that we had long ago ripped up the rumpy-pumpy rulebook and everyone was just doing whatever felt right in the heat of the moment. Then I found myself single and eager to mingle for thefirst time in a long time. I was ready to dip my toe, tush and titties right back into the dyke dating pool, and I was astonished by what I found there.
While filling out my shiny new profile on gaydargirls.com, I was confronted with an unfamiliar question: Was I a top, a bottom or versatile? “Well, that’s forward,” I thought. At least buy me a drinkfirst. I hedged my bets and ticked all three, hoping it would widen my potential matches. In the following weeks, I received messages from many beguiling characters in search of love, lust and kinky fun times online. One woman offered to be my daddy. Another wanted me to be her MILF. It was all getting quite Oedipal.