THE RANKING
Four Empire writers. Ten movies. Ordered definitively.
The Friday The 13th franchise
Illustration: Jacey with Sean S. Cunningham
Chris: Despite the fact that most of these movies are absolutely terrible, I have a real affection for them. What’s your relationship with them?
Anna: It’s probably the horror franchise I have the least affection for. A Nightmare On Elm Street was my gateway into horror, and Freddy remains my favourite big bad. Jason, honestly, is just a lump of flesh.
I’m a fan of personality, and Jason is like horror’s himbo.
I enjoy it for the kills, united by this lump of a man who enjoys sticking things through people.
Mike: I like this franchise about this lump of a man sticking things through people.
I discovered Friday The 13th when I was young, and I feel that’s the age to discover it.
These are the Big Mac and fries of horror.
Chris: I have very strong memories of watching these movies when I was far too young to do so. I revisited the franchise for this, and I was disabused of some notions.
Part four, which I thought was the best one, is so shonky.
Owen: Part four is easily the best one. But the first one I remember is Jason Takes Manhattan. Chris: That’s the one where Jason punches a man’s head clean off.
Mike: There’s a weird consistency with them. You know exactly what you’re getting. You can pick one of the 12, watch it with friends and laugh at it. For me, they’re all a certain amount of stupid fun.