In the midst of lazy Christmas downtime, watching films and eating delicious food that cannot be good for you (carbs!), came 1998’s The Object of My Affection. I hadn’t seen it in a while and remembered it as pushing the Will and Grace dynamic of gay guy and gal pal into a more honest, tender, raw space. Now I’m in my mid-40s, my point of poignant identification no longer came from the gay/gal dynamic, but from the supporting role of ‘older gay man’ played by Nigel Hawthorne, who in his singleness sagely advises Jennifer Aniston’s character: “Don’t fix your life so that you’re left alone right when you come to the middle of it.”
We make New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of the year, but they always come from the middle of our lives’ experience. And so, I proffer this same sage advise to myself and others that in this year, you don’t fix things so that you’re left alone.