by Derek Bateman

I’ve had to stop cleaning the house – the furniture polish is killing me. I have to stand back from the main road – the car fumes are lodging soot deposits in my lungs. I am killing my own kids by giving them crisps. I’m forcing indigenous people off their land if I eat cream crackers with palm oil. I’m endangering sensitive eco systems in South America if I eat quinoa.

It’s becoming very tricky keeping up with the latest information about the impact we humans have on the planet and, to be honest, I’m tempted to give up.

Fats are bad for my heart I was told. Oh no, they’re not, I hear. Fats are good for you in moderation. I stopped using granulated salt (except when bread baking) and turned instead to flaky sea salt only to find it’s impregnated with minuscule particles of plastic which now pervade the oceans. They took cream out of milk to protect our hearts only to find we consume more milk than we need and clog up our arteries anyway.