SOBERING THOUGHTS
BE PATIENT AND THINK OF THE LONG GAME
Sam Delaney, 50, is the author of
Stop Sh*tting Yourself – 15 Life Lessons That Might Help You Calm The F*ck Down
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I quit drinking in June 2015, a couple of months after turning 40. I’d been trying and failing to control my drinking for the past couple of years and had concluded that moderation just wasn’t for me. A therapist suggested that abstinence might be a better option. It seemed radical, but it appealed to my addictive, all-or-nothing mindset. I started to form a picture of myself as a positive, energised, fun and sober man. I was fortunate enough to know a few sober individuals who fit the same description, so I understood it was possible. But I also knew I wouldn’t become that bloke overnight. My social life and entire persona had been built around booze for several decades. Building a new identity that wasn’t linked to drinking was the long-term plan. In the short term, I needed strategies to cope with the anxiety, fear and boredom that accompany early sobriety. It might be a cliché, but ‘one day at a time’ was one of the most helpful phrases in those first few booze-free weeks. Therapist and addiction specialist Sean McNicholas advises you to tell yourself, ‘Today I intend to stay sober,’ rather than ‘I will stay sober my whole life.’