WHEN TAI JORDAN was a child, he would visit the local swimming pool and puzzle over why boys were allowed to splash about without their shirts on, while he was forced to wear a bathing suit that covered most of his body. And when he daydreamed about his wedding day in the faraway future, Jordan didn’t envision himself walking down the aisle in a poufy white gown, as his family hoped he would do one day. Jordan wanted to be the groom, waiting at the very end of that aisle for his bride.
“I’ve never really identified with the body I was born in,” says Jordan, an 18-year-old student at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington. “The way I decided to carry myself, the way I acted, was always more masculine.”
Jordan initially identified as a lesbian in 2013, but even after coming out about his sexual orientation, he still didn’t feel “complete.” Confused about his body and his orientation, he became an avid triathlete and threw himself into sports, which led him to an epiphany. During a soccer competition in his junior year of high school, he tore both quad muscles and needed surgery. When doctors performed an MRI of his lower body to diagnose the injury, they spotted something else much more serious. Next to Jordan’s ovaries was a rare type of benign tumors, known as teratomas. Jordan underwent a surgical procedure to remove both ovaries. With that, the doctors took away Jordan’s ability to have biological children. The surgery also left him searching for answers to even more complex questions about who he was. That quest helped Jordan realize he wasn’t gay. He wanted to become a man.