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Three’s a crowd

The introduction of a partner can alter the dynamics of our friendships. Ellen Tout shares three experts’ advice on making love and friendship work together


I never warmed to my friend’s partner, who was boring and a bit of a snob, but she seemed happy with him, so I always made an effort. Then they split up and, over a coffee one day, I told her the truth – that I never liked him. She seemed surprised, but not upset. Now they’re back together. How do I handle this – now and going forward?

‘We can never know what goes on behind closed doors in someone else’s relationship, which is why we need to think carefully before criticising a friend’s partner,’ says Relate couples and family counsellor Barbara Bloomfield. ‘Apologise for speaking out of turn and say that her friendship is very important to you. Explain that you want her to be happy and are pleased they have reunited.’

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Psychologies August 2016 - Switch Off Slow Down