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How do I talk to her about her weight gain?

Our agony aunt, Mary Fenwick, offers a new perspective on whatever is troubling you

Q My daughter has gained quite a lot of weight over the last year as she moves into adolescence. She eats more healthily than her friends, but she does snack at night and is becoming secretive about it. I have raised it once; I told her as gently as I could that I’d noticed she had put on some weight, and she became very angry and upset. I feel as though I should be the one telling her that she is beautiful, and of course I’m very worried about provoking an eating disorder. How can I broach this issue with sensitivity? Name supplied

A It’s a tough and lonely job raising a teenage girl. You have spent all your time up until now making sure that no one else hurts your precious child; now she has a whole range of options to harm herself.

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About Psychologies

When we change our minds, we change our lives. This issue explores what happens when we do just this. What if you didn’t resign from a job, but could change the way you feel about it? Or what about finding a new way to open up to love? Or, what happens when we challenge the judgements we make about ourselves and each other? Read the astonishing life-changing effects of what happens when you think differently.   Change doesn’t always feel positive - you're made redundant, or your relationship breaks down, or we lose someone we love. And it's awful. Yes, we don’t always have control over what happens out there, but we always have control over how we react to it. This issue explores how to change our perspective to create the world we want.