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Digital Subscriptions > Transliving Magazine > Transliving 51 > "WE DRESS TO PLEASE OUR MINDS AND NOT OUR BODIES" PART 2


Continuing Catherine’s thoughts on GENDER...

Unless we engage in a particular activity that requires special clothing or wear a uniform, clothes have an element of pleasure that is cerebral.

If my mind has a strong feminine side to it then it seems natural to me to need to express it in a feminine way. One thing I do notice, is that when I am dressed, certain feminine mannerisms come quite naturally such as sitting with knees together and not opening them when using stairs. Why do women still sit with their knees together when wearing trousers? In this instance, would an open-legged posture for a female be an expression of interest in sex or just a relaxed way of sitting like a man? Equally, if a male were to be seated knees and feet together with hands clasped on the thighs would he be described as sitting in an effeminate way? Would this then be a demonstration of feminine gender? I also find when dressed that I adopt the feminine way of doing an action as a necessity of wearing feminine clothes. Actions like bending down to pick something up and getting into and out of a car. Eating requires a more delicate style so as not to disturb perfectly applied lipstick or to leave traces of food around the mouth. Women usually pile less food than men onto the fork, and one technique is to unload it into the mouth by using the teeth as opposed to the lips. It becomes necessary and instinctive to eat more daintily - no shovelling-in as much as possible, as if in male mode. An itchy cheek or a tickly nose require a more gentle and delicate solution. No more blowing with gusto into a large white handkerchief with elbows far apart. The required technique is gently to hold a tissue between a few straightened fingers and lightly expel air from the nostrils. Wearing high heels is a skill that has to be mastered. Even real ladies would agree on this one. The whole body is delicately balanced and all movements coordinated, otherwise an ungainly spectacle results. This coordination comes from the mind and when learned, becomes natural and a gender-feminine pleasure, which could explain why many women love wearing high heels. This is what betrays many a man trying to pass as a woman. Their gender-male mind does not possess, or has not yet acquired, certain important gender-feminine aptitudes or skills and is having trouble changing over. Women tend to guard the upper body when amongst a crowd of people, in order to protect their delicate breast area, whereas a man would protect lower down. I have to use my hands differently, because I wear longer false nails, but never realised they would render such ordinary everyday actions almost impossible when dressed – actions such as opening car doors, using switches, picking up small items, taking coins out of a purse, pushing a button (especially to flush a toilet), typing, using a mobile phone or fastening buttons. I would suggest that for this reason, all designers should “test-drive” their designs/products fully dressed as women before they are finalised so as to realise any faults that would cause user-unfriendliness to the female gender (please note here: gender not sex). In other words feminine men as well as feminine women. In this way, we would have everyday objects – cars, tin openers, toilet-flush handles, keyboards and telephones etc. - that are better usable to more people. Similar improvements could be achieved by getting designers to change into an old person, or a child, or a blind person or someone in a wheelchair and experience the difficulties these categories of persons have with everyday objects and situations. For these reasons, I attach great importance to feminine attributes, such as long nails, makeup, high heels, skirts, lingerie and a handbag - which all demand that I have to think and behave differently from when in male-mode. My first time away from home in female-mode I stayed in a hotel and walked away from reception after paying my bill but forgot my handbag (panicking slightly, five minutes later when I realised my loss), as my inexperienced gender-feminine mind had not yet developed to the state when a woman and her handbag become “welded” together. I eventually learned to understand the relationship a woman has with this so very gender-feminine extension of her being – something that most men just cannot appreciate. I suppose I like the restrictions that most ladies find rather irritating and wish to be free of, but which for me represent being female and are a pleasurable gender-feminine experience. I love the behavioural changes that dressing forces upon me but if I was a female by birth, I might have a different opinion. Sometimes however, I tend to think in a feminine way when dressed in boy-mode making me feel that something is missing. For me, dressing as a woman is about allowing my mind to function more appropriately and I feel at ease and more complete. I really admire women, and seek to emulate them. Women should take this purely as a compliment, and since imitation is meant to be the sincerest form of flattery - why be offended?

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About Transliving Magazine

We feature the stunning Sarah from the UK on the cover and you can see lots more of her amazing photos from her boudoir photoshoot inside. This issue also includes fabulous features on choosing the right wig for your face shape. Julia Panther shares her photos and Passion for the Glamour Fashion Look. We feature photos and reports from the following events: Miss TV Scotland, Transliving Laguna Weekend, a Girls' Night out in Sussex and we head to Manchester for A Distinguished Trans ‘Teas Up'! We also feature an exclusive interview with Rebecca Root from the BBCs sitcom Boy Meets Girl - where all is revealed whether a follow-up series is planned or not. PLUS all our usual sections on where to go out in our Scene Guide, TV/TS Contacts, Events, readers' personal real-life stories & experiences, advice on fashion, makeup & image styling, Information, Support and so much more!.... What more do you need? With so much going on it’s no surprise that Transliving is THE go to magazine for the Transgender community and their friends and lovers all over the world! Do you want to be featured in a future issue? Contact and who knows you could be the star of our next issue! Dive into your new TLI now!