BY JOHN JENSEN
In the old days talented young graduates wanting to make a little subsistence cash would write a novel and a friendly publisher would offer a modest advance to help them fi nd their feet. These days you need the money in order to study writing before you even begin to have a chance of fi nding a publisher. One school of writing charges from £99 to £249 depending on what aspects of the business takes your fancy. If I followed all their experts over a three-month period I’d have to pay more than £3,000 – worth it if you’ve got all the necessary, which I haven’t. Rich parents would come in handy but as I don’t have rich parents I work as a barista in a caff even though saving is almost impossible. Some of my customers sit in the caff all day with their laptops open after paying £2.50 for a latte; lucky them! These days I can’t even afford, let alone fi nd, a reasonable bedsit. Fortunately, I have a useful commute, two hours here, two hours back. I could easily get through 80,000 words in no time – if only I could be sure of a seat.