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Digital Subscriptions > Cottage Life > Fall 2017 > Lies my cottage told me

Lies my cottage told me

Sweaty? Bug-bitten? Angry about your property taxes? Embrace it in all its grimy normal-ness, says Zim

In Like Zim


Here’s a dark little secret: I have never eaten a s’more. Not a single one. While I realize the sickly triumvirate of chocolate, marshmallow, and graham cracker is widely revered as one of the holy pillars of cottage life, I’d rather have a hot dog. Or a carrot stick. Or nothing. Since I’m already committing cottage apostasy, here’s another personal revelation: the idea of the cottage as an intergenerational base camp where 30 of my friends and relatives can frolic in the water with their unruly pets, play board games, assemble regrettable potluck meals, and overload the septic system isn’t my idea of fun— it’s a waking nightmare. After all, I bought the place to get away from these people. There, I said it. My second act of cottage thought crime in just one paragraph. And though I can hear the loon-call sirens of the cottage police closing in, I know there are others out there just like me. Others who have dared to look inside the Shiny Happy Cottage Construct—it’s like the Matrix with more comfortable clothing—and seen the truth.

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About Cottage Life

Cottage Life’s Fall issue brings you the magic of the season. Kick your campfire up a notch with desserts that are delicious and pure fun. Get inspired by the story of a family whose three generations pitch in to add on to their retreat—gaining hands-on skills and a love of the cottage along the way. Discover the secrets to better sleep at the lake. Build a fold-up workbench, and get the lowdown on Tesla solar roof tiles, two handy jacks, and six small problem-solving gadgets for your workshop. Choose the best water-filtration system for your family (so you can stop hauling water to the cottage!). And when it’s finally time to close up for the season, we’ve got 17 smarter ways to put your boats, docks, plumbing, and more to bed—with a lot less stress. Plus, as fish numbers drop, we asked the experts what’s going on below the surface of our lakes. Chock full of advice and inspiration, this issue offers the best of fall at the cottage.