All I wanted to do was buy some chorizo at the deli. What I got was a patronising nod, a suppressed titter and these most maddening of words, “It’s pronounced chor-ee-tho, not chor-eezo.” I gritted my teeth into a fake smile, feigning gratitude, while planning never to return (I could have pointed out that, in Spain, only effete Madrileños use ‘th’ instead of ‘s’, but by the time I thought of that one I was already halfway home). “Well at least you didn’t say chor-itso, I suppose!” he chirped, practically frothing with eagerness to show off.