It’s not easy being a bisexual on the female spectrum. We’re not a part of the straight world and we often feel like an addendum to the LGBT one. We are frequently fetishised, disbelieved and branded as promiscuous. It’s no wonder then that we allegedly suffer poorer mental health than our lesbian and straight counterparts. A 2015 study from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, based on the results of a 2007 Stonewall survey, showed that bisexual women experience the highest levels of substance abuse, eating disorders, self-harm and suicidal ideation. A 2016 study from Drexel University in the US yielded similar results.
Kate, 28, is bisexual and has borderline personality disorder, also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder, and post traumatic stress disorder. Like many bisexual women, her partner struggled to accept her sexuality. “She was convinced I would leave her ‘for a man’”, Kate explains. “It got to the point where she would slap me for talking to the man behind the counter in the corner shop. All my male friendships had to be dissolved. I started to believe that maybe I was somehow wrong, somehow a traitor to the gay community, even though I hadn’t so much as thought about cheating on her.” Kate eventually left her ex-partner but the emotional wounds remain open. “I haven’t been able to date anyone since, and this was three years ago.”
Jennifer, 33, is bisexual and has Asperger’s. “I find socialising very difficult as it is”, she tells DIVA. “And being bi hasn’t helped much. There aren’t many places where you can go and talk openly about being bisexual. The rare times I have tried to go to bars to meet women, they always shut off when I bring up being bi and I get incredibly anxious. It’s difficult not to feel as if you’ve said something shocking and inappropriate.” Jennifer’s current partner is not even aware that she is bisexual. “I just couldn’t face telling him. It’s been nearly a year now and I’m still terrified that one of my friends will accidentally say something. It hurts to live a lie but I can’t think of an alternative.”
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