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A cautionary tale from Joshua Maddox Wellington.
A portrait of the author as Miley Cyrus: Joshua Maddox Wellington channels the muse.

They say be careful what you wish for!

IN THE FIRST couple of months after I’d swung into Sydney like a wrecking ball I’d met some cool and some not-so-cool guys. Some of them tried to impress me with their bank balance, some tried to impress me with their abs. But whatever, I can’t be tamed.

More than one potential beau had glared with contempt at the large Miley Cyrus poster that graced my bedroom wall. She was nude and emerging from a swimming pool, mascara running down her baby face, her undercut style hair was slicked back and her tongue was hanging from her mouth like a parched camel. She looked trashy, disgusting, irreverent and totally inappropriate – she was just being Miley. I loved it. Something about grossing out uptight people with Miley’s audacity gave me a thrill. I suppose the natural rebel in me takes pleasure in shocking people. If I’m ever in a fancy hotel or nice restaurant, I often feel the urge to re-enact the Spice Girls Wannabe video and run riot while stuffy old people look on at the horror of it all. Miley seemed to represent this quality in me in a less assaulting manner, and I loved sporting her face or twerking on my iPhone case or my desk at work, just to ruffle some feathers.

Bored one Sunday, I was looking through my Instagram notifications and I noticed that I had a new follower with an interesting username: glitter_arty90. I looked through his profile and he had some pretty cool posts. He had a striking face, a chiselled bone structure with penetrating blue eyes and short blond hair. He was heavily tattooed like one of those on-trend Tumblr boys, and had an off-beat sense of fashion. He wore an Amish-type hat and overalls in a lot of different photos, which I thought was pretty stylish. Also, the photography he posted was a cut-above. He had an eye for trashy aesthetics and he seemed like the kind of guy I should be friends with.

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About DNA Magazine

DNA #191 is our Annual Swimwear Edition. Our cover model this month is Quinton Wynn. Check out his fun shoot with Hayden Su inside. For more fellas, check out the guys of Luke Austin’s new Beau Book, we have a Fire Island fling with Brandon Cole Bailey, beach boy Cory Frederick hits the seashore with Jorge Rivas, tattooed model Vince Ramos poses for West Phillips and beach bear Risan works his magic with photographer Leo Castro. There’s plenty of swimwear inside this issue. Check out the season’s hottest trends in our Swimwear Review of 2016. Our Grooming Guru Will Fennell is back and this month with a focus on monogamy and coconuts, we take a look at Cate Blanchett’s new film Carol, check out exciting new travel bookazine Elska, Siki Daha chats to us about his new music, we’re on the search for a folk hero and see awarding winning play Buyer and Cellar. For your serious reads, we meet a man who escaped certain death from ISIS and is now helping to save others from the brutality, check out indie flick Kiss Me Kill Me and how the 20th Century was influenced by Oscar Wilde and Robert Baden-Powell. We also check out why being intimate is healthy for you, Josh Piterman is our Straight Mate, plus all our regular favourites including Boys Toys, Month in a Minute, Loving, Dear Diva and Burntoast.