INTIMACY… we know we need it, but why is it so hard to connect? Many men are raised to put emotions on the backburner. We hear the terms “man up” or “don’t be dramatic”, which put a negative spin on expressing feelings and make it difficult to admit when we need understanding, a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Slowly but surely, we’re becoming more accepting of gay relationships and, by extension, male-on-male affection. This wiggle room has given rise to the bromance.
A pejorative view of male affection has historically forced men to withhold emotionally, or to distance themselves from people they care about. This can lead to intimacy issues that impede meaningful emotional connection. Repression emotions may just guarantee you’ll need therapy later. Why can’t a bodybuilder cry, a solider like the colour pink, or a drag queen be a top?
A recent UK study galvanised the internet. In the journal Men And Masculinities, sociologists Eric Anderson and Mark McCormack wrote a paper based on interviews with male student athletes. They found that 98 percent of those polled had shared a bed with another guy and 93 percent have spooned or cuddled with another guy. The goal of their study was to see if the growth of homosocial behavior meant we were expanding our contemporary view of masculinity.