The strap line of the Musicians’ Union logo proudly proclaims ‘Keep Music Live’? However, I might suggest that you have not experienced the oxymoronically rich phrase, ‘Light Entertainment’. On a good day, it’s a painless way to earn a living, after you’ve filtered out the 12-hour shift, the endless rehearsal and the tension of the performance itself. But that’s why you’re paid the medium bucks. No, my friends. It’s what occurs when it’s very far from alright on the night that evokes less than favourable comparison with the horror of war, or the fear of never again obtaining a Waitrose online shopping slot. The account that follows is but a mere bagatelle drawn from Mitch’s World Of Live, if you will.
Mitch recalls some of the mishaps in his long and impressive career
The first example is etched forever in my memory, not least due to its relative brevity. Indeed it represents a personal best of maximum embarrassment achieved in the minimum of time. The venue was The London Palladium, the artist an international singing star of the late 50s and early 60s. The rehearsal with full orchestra on stage passed glitch free. However, all was clearly not tickety-boo with the lady come the first of the two shows scheduled for the day. The band opened with a stirring rendition of an overture of her greatest hits. And from that point the plot thinned. After a delay, our chanteuse appeared, clearly not herself. Her first song was unrecognisable. Telltale beads of perspiration began to form around the wing collar of my dress shirt as I looked in vain to our Musical Director. To be fair, he did have the presence of mind to abort the mission and count in the second tune. He needn’t have bothered. After approximately six minutes on stage, persons rather higher up the Showbiz food chain had clearly made an executive decision. The iconic curtain came down, painfully slowly and in mid-performance. An announcement was made. Money refunded. And in a contradiction of the old adage, the second show most emphatically did not go on. It transpired that the artiste was not suffering from the self medication beloved of many in the whacky world of music. Instead she had inadvertently overdosed on medicine prescribed for depression. Having subsequently read her biography and the tragic events described within, the odd cancelled show must rank as a mere footnote in her personal history.