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Digital Subscriptions > Psychologies > No. 140 Get More Organised > We’ve got the power!

We’ve got the power!

Unrealistic goals and self-hatred, or self-empowerment, acceptance and a can-do attitude? It’s all about choice, says Ali Roff…

The kind mind

There’s a moment I’ll never forget; walking up the steps of the school bus, aged 12, overhearing my friends calling me fat. That’s when I first realised that I could be validated by the way I looked, and so began to validate myself by it, too.

I’ve always felt like the ‘fat friend’. I lusted over thigh gaps and wished my belly was washboard-flat. I thought like a victim – ‘poor me’. It was only when I learned that, for some people, thigh gaps are anatomically impossible due to genetic bone structure (specifically hip width and the angle of pelvic bones), that I realised my perpetual struggle to have slimmer thighs was an unrealistic goal. I chased after the impossible and created hell for myself in the process.

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