© BEN LUMLEY
I’m not sure I’ve ever been quite as frightened of anything, as I used to be of public speaking. The idea of all those people staring at you. All that pressure to entertain them. What if you forget your line? What if you get heckled – and everyone laughs at you? What if you stutter, freeze, lose control of your bladder or whatever it is that controls flatulence? The scenario filled me with sweat-inducing dread. That’s partly why I like writing. The cowardly idea that when someone reads your words you’re not there to be instantly accountable (plus you have several chances to hone those words before they’re released).
I was still haunted by a nightmarish presentation at university. I cockily assumed I could blag my way through it on minimal prep. But when everyone was looking my way, it dawned on me that I had almost nothing to say. My mind went blank. I stuttered, stammered and went very red. I didn’t know my stuff and, deservedly, I was found out. I didn’t like that sensation very much.
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